Everything is Unfinished

I have uncovered a conspiracy of epic proportions. This insidious behaviour goes all the way to the top of one of the biggest media corporations in the world! Will they stop at nothing? Apparently not. Journey with me, if you will, to last night around midnight…

Johnny and I are watching cartoons. Family Guy on Adult Swim, to be accurate. It was actually a pretty funny episode, which was a nice change. It ends at around 11:55 - AS doesn’t seem to show as many commercials during their shows as other stations, so they end earlier. In an effort to save ourselves from having to endure one of the 15 or so anime cartoons that AS likes to show late at night, I started flipping around the channels. I landed on MTV, which was showing - no, not videos - something called Scandalicious: Movie Awards Edition. I’m still not exactly sure what the show was about, seeing as we caught the tail end of it and it was narrated by a couple of 16 year-olds on speed. The only useful information I got from watching was that the MTV Movie Awards will be on June 12, which prompted Johnny to go online and look up the nominees for this year.

Now, I like the MTV Movie Awards. They’re everything that the Oscars aren’t - loud, raucous, hedonistic, in-your-face. Ok, that’s actually exactly what the Oscars are, but MTV does it in a different way. Anyway, the point is that while I like the MTV Movie Awards, their choices for actors and movies aren’t always the highest quality picks, even if they are definitely entertaining. So nothing really jumped out at me when I heard the nominees for Best Male Performance: Bill Murray (Lost in Translation), Tom Cruise (Last Samurai), Johnny Depp (POTC), Jim Caviezel (The Passion), Adam Sandler (50 First Dates). Then we moved on to Best Female Performance, and my conspiracy theory was born. A quiet, unassuming birth no doubt, but it was there as Johnny read the nominees: Uma Thurman (Kill Bill Vol. 1), Queen Latifah (Bringing Down The House), Halle Berry (Gothika), Charlize Theron (Monster), Drew Barrymore (50 First Dates). Johnny was of course outraged that Scarlett Johansson was not among the nominees, but we moved on to Best On-Screen Team: Jack Black and the School of Rock Band (School of Rock), Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom (POTC), Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson (Starsky and Hutch), Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore (50 First Dates), Martin Lawrence and Will Smith (Bad Boys II). I’m starting to get a bit suspicious now, but don’t say anything as we move on to Best Comedic Performance: Jack Black (School of Rock), Will Ferrell (Elf), Johnny Depp (POTC), Ellen DeGeneres (Finding Nemo), Jim Carrey (Bruce Almighty). My brain calms down as it gets back to solid ground - Jim Carrey got a nomination. I think it’s a law that he has to get at least one MTV Movie Award nom every year, whether he’s done anything that year or not, just so he’ll show up and do something outrageous. Of course, he’d probably show up and do something outrageous even if he wasn’t nominated, but I suppose they like to make sure.

Next, we skipped Best Villain and Best Dance Sequence on account of their lameness and moved to Best Kiss. My waning theory took a staggering hit when we read that the nominees are Keanu Reeves/Monica Belucci (Matrix: Reloaded), Christina Ricci/Charlize Theron (Monster) - another law, that there must be a kiss between two girls nominated - Shawn Ashmore/Anna Paquin (X2), Jim Carrey/Jennifer Aniston (Bruce Almighty), Owen Wilson/Amy Smart/Carmen Electra (Starsky and Hutch). Best Action Sequence was next: Escape from Mongolia (Charlies Angels 2), Battle at Gondor (ROTK), Champion Crane Chase (T3), Intercoastal Freeway Pursuit (Bad Boys II). Best Fight brought us Keanu Reeves vs. Hugo Weaving (Matrix: Reloaded), The Rock vs. Kontiki Rebels (The Rundown), Queen Latifah vs. Missi Pyle (Bringing Down The House), Uma Thurman vs. Chiyaki Kuriyama (Kill Bill Vol. 1), Hugh Jackman vs. Kelly Hu (X2). At this point, my conspiracy theory was lying on the ground, clutching its chest after living a short life. Breakthrough Male and Female dealt it the deathblow: Shia LaBoeuf (Holes), Omarion (You Got Served), Shawn Ashmore (X2), Ludacris (2 Fast 2 Furious), Cillian Murphy (28 Days Later) and Keira Knightly (POTC), Evan Rachel Wood (Thirteen), Jesica Biel (Texas Chainsaw Massacre), Lindsay Lohan (Freaky Friday), Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translastion). Johnny got a double dose of list-worthy starlets there. Then he looked up the Best Movie nominees, and uttered the sacred words that raised the fresh corpse of my theory from the dead: “Ok, check these out - one of these things is not like the others.” Best Movie nominees are: ROTK, Finding Nemo, POTC, X2 and … 50 First Dates. What? Huh? Warning bells are going off in my head as my undead theory begins lumbering about. I’ve seen all 5 of these movies, and the truly mediocre 50 First Dates doesn’t deserve any recognition beyond maybe people saying “oh, yeah, I think I saw that movie.” I finally begin to put all the clues in order as Johnny wonders (loudly and angrily) why the hell that movie was included. The conspiracy takes over my brain and I urgently tell Johnny to see what company is responsible for the film. As he’s checking, I think about things as if I’m an executive in Hollywood.
***Executive Brain Mode***
Hmm, MTV Movie Awards, huh? What do kids like these days…is stupid humor still in? I’m sure it is, kids are all stupid. What’s Adam Sandler been up to lately? Hey wait, he had that movie…the one with Drew Barrymore. I’ll bet we could sell some DVDs if we included them in this MTV award thingy. We’ll make him do that Hannukah song or something.
***End Executive Brain Mode***

MTV is owned by Viacom, one of the biggest media companies in the world. Viacom also owns Paramount Pictures. President of Paramount Pictures is John Goldwyn, grandson of Samuel Goldwyn also known as the “G” in MGM, which is now called Sony Pictures, which is the studio responsible for 50 First Dates, which just happens to come out June 15, a mere 3 days after the MTV Movie Awards! My zombie conspiracy theory is now urging me, in its grunting, moaning way of communicating, to buy lots of tinfoil and move permanently into an underground bunker: the colossal media outlets are working together to keep us under their power!

Oh, you already knew that? Yeah, yeah…I guess I did too. *sigh*

So I suppose all that’s left to do is make my picks for the MTV Movie Awards. Rest assured, though, that nothing related to 50 First Dates will be included.

• Best Male Performance: Johnny Depp, hands down.

• Best Female Performance: Don’t Care. I suppose Charlize Theron should win, seeing as how she does have an Oscar for the role, but I didn’t see Monster so I don’t really know.
• Best On-Screen Team: This one’s tough. I really want to say Johnny and Orlando, but Ben and Owen sneak by them. Their chemistry in Starsky and Hutch is something every pair of actors playing heterosexual male buddies would die for.
• Best Villain: Geoffrey Rush
• Best Comedic Performance: Another tough one, but Johnny Depp just edges out Ellen DeGeneres
• Best Dance Sequence: Seann William Scott (in Piefucker 3)
• Best Kiss: As much as I love Christina Ricci, gotta go with Owen/Carmen/Amy here.
• Best Action Sequence: Battle at Gondor. I can only assume they mean the whole battle here - all what, 90 minutes of it?
• Best Fight: Keanu vs. Hugo. I’ll take unlimited Hugo Weavings myself, please.
• Breakthrough Female: Scarlett Johansson, by a country mile. They should have saved Lindsay for next year with Mean Girls.
• Breakthrough Male: Another don’t care. The only one I actually saw was Shawn Ashmore in X2, and he was ok. Johnny tells me it should go to Cillian Murphy for 28 Days Later. I didn’t see it, but I like his name. Is it pronounced Killian or Sillian?
• Best Movie: Definitely ROTK. I don’t normally rank my favorites of anything, but last year I had a definite top 3 movies: Big Fish, ROTK (very close behind) and POTC.

Make your own picks in my comments, and then watch the show in a few weeks. Lindsay Lohan is hosting, yum, so I know Johnny will be watching from his dorm in Colorado! And maybe Orlando will have a break in his busy schedule long enough to show up. Doubtful, but just in case, here he is in my favorite scene from POTC.

Currently Stuck In Head: Guster, X-Ray Eyes

P.S. Last night, I typed 90% of this entry out. It took 45 minutes. Then I hit the “back” button by mistake and LOST THE WHOLE FREAKING THING. I almost cried, and it has pained me to have to type it all out again. Moral of the story: use the “save draft” feature, and use it often. I know I’ve learned my lesson.

…the mice will read internet comics all day. Everyone’s travelling today, so it’s just me and one tech support guy in the office. We’ve been…well, he’s been doing some actual work, while I’ve spent all day so far at Penny Arcade, which is extremely irreverent and funny, even if some of the serious gaming jokes are above my head. A lot of them, though, hit a little too close to home.

The characters remind me of the Clerks Animated Series. I of course use the term series very loosely, as the show only aired twice and there are only six episodes total. And to think Kevin Smith turned down HBO when they wanted to air the show!

So I know I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been feeling pretty run-down and crappy lately, and apparently I have to be in the mood to blog. Otherwise, I just sit at my laptop clicking randomly on sites before I get bored and go take a nap. This happens about every 3 months, when the seasons start to change and I get a sinus infection. I probably should go to the doctor but I hate taking antibiotics. I’m already immune enough to them, because from the ages of 10 to about 22 I got strep throat every year, and every year I’d have to take stronger antibiotics to kick it. Amoxicillin is like Pez to me now. I probably should have had my tonsils out at some point, but I’m sure my mother would have fainted at the prospect of having to try and drag me to a hospital. When I was 5 and had my kindergarten booster shots, it took her and 3 nurses to hold me down. Heh. But anyway, the point is I’ve been feeling crappy lately. Also, I’m still reading a lot, which is taking away from internet time. I’m about 75 pages into Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett now. It’s another Good vs. Evil book, but about as different from His Dark Materials as you can get. It’s obvious, too, that Gaiman and Pratchett are fans of Douglas Adams, which is good because so am I. Note that Adams’ site does not have a blog, since he has been unfortunately dead for the last two years.

Speaking of Douglas Adams, filming has just entered its fourth week on the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie! FINALLY. It’s slated to be out next year sometime, and I’m very excited about it. I don’t think I’m in danger of setting myself up for a letdown, because I’ve seen the original 1981 mini-series and nothing could be worse than that.

Ok, back to Neil Gaiman for a second. He let it slip last Friday that he’s writing the foreward for Wil Wheaton’s new book! Wil’s been keeping that secret closely guarded. I will rush out and buy this book as soon as it’s released. I have his first book, Dancing Barefoot and, not surprisingly, I enjoyed it very much. Both of these books are basically fleshed out blog entries of his, and I read his blog daily. He’s a really good writer, funny and down to earth, but he can be serious and introspective without sounding too sappy. He also talks about William Fucking Shatner.

Must end this now, as I have to do some real work and book my boss a flight. I don’t know why he even keeps an office here, since he’s gone more often than not. Oh well I don’t care as long as there are pictures of Orlando to look at!

Currently Stuck In Head: The Cure, In Between Days

The other night I finished The Amber Spyglass, the third book in the His Dark Materials series. This book is the only children’s book to have ever won the Whitbread Book of the Year award. I think it’s highly deserving of the award, but I wouldn’t have classified it as a children’s book. The first book in the series, definitely. The second could go either way. But this one was definitely darker and there were so many storylines to follow that even I was having trouble keeping track of them. But wow, what a powerful read - the ending was absolutely heart-wrenching. Everyone go read the series now so we can discuss them. Maybe we need an online book club, to go with the online movie club (which just had its first “meeting”).

I saw Shrek 2 the other night with Johnny, Amanda and Adam. We saw a midnight showing of it on Tuesday. I didn’t think there would be enough of a crowd to warrant having one but I was wrong - it wasn’t sold out, but I’d say the theatre was at least 75% full, and that was surprising. I liked the movie a lot and I think it’s going to make money hand over fist. It’s going to do the same thing that the first Shrek did, and appeal to kids because it’s a fun cartoon and their parents because of all the cool pop culture references in it. I commented on Johnny’s review but I’ll say it again here: I enjoyed the celebrity voices without being distracted by them. We saw Atlantis back in 2001 when it came out, and anytime the main character spoke all I could think was “that’s Michael J. Fox” It wasn’t like that with Shrek 2, even with Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy and Cameron Diaz. In fact, the only other voice I recognized without reading the credits was John Cleese, and he was perfect as Fiona’s father. I was amazed at how far computer animation has come - when you see it, check out the hair. That’s what impressed me the most. The only thing that really needs work is the natural movements of people. It was most noticable when the characters were eating dinner, they all looked pretty stiff. Upcoming on the movie circuit for us are a midnight showing of Ghostbusters this Friday (maybe - I may skip that if I need sleep) and Super Size Me on Saturday.

When I was listening to Guster a lot after their 4th album came out, I started to get this weird feeling that they were an undercover Christian band. I guess I’m not the only one, since this is in their FAQ:

:Q: Are you guys a Christian band?

A:Rather than answer this one with a simple yes/no, we suggest you check the following sources for clues: 1) Brian’s last name — “Rosenworcel.” 2) Any photo of Ryan where you can see his profile. 3) The Guster Backstage Contract Rider, where we stipify that “the dressing room must be furnished with plenty of borscht, noodle kugels, potato latkes, gefilte fish and homemade rugulah for dessert.”

Guess the answer is “no” then.

Currently Stuck In Head: Guster, Mona Lisa

I’ve been really busy lately, at work and after, and just haven’t had a whole lot of time to post anything. I don’t really have time now either, as I’m supposed to be working on making a table skirt for work. But it’s been so long without a picture of Orlando that I had to pop in and put one up! Here’s a nice one from Troy. Whether you liked the movie or not, he was looking lovely.

The title of this entry should really be the title of this blog, shouldn’t it? Actually the best blog name I’ve seen so far is definitely “Contents of head, slightly filtered”.

Addendum to the last entry about His Dark Materials: I like the series even more now, after finding out that it pisses people off. Specifically, it pisses off uptight Christians. As I said, the general point of the books is to pit “Good” vs. “Evil”, and the author definitely comes down on the side of “Evil”; that is, science and reason and logic. It’s not that I hate Christians (I try not to hate anyone) and I think they have every right to not like/agree with these books because of their message, or the author because of his views. What I don’t like is when people feel the need to warn others about what a dangerous viewpoint something takes. One of these reviews actually advises parents not to let their children read the books because they might get ideas about things, and abandon their faith! Well if you can’t trust your kids to make up their own minds about things, and if they would throw away everything they’ve been taught their whole lives after reading one book, then you probably haven’t been teaching them well enough. And that attitude isn’t unique to Christians, although they seem to be the ones who adopt it the most. Besides, why don’t people get that the more uptight you are about something, the more kids are going to want to do it? I realize that everyone says they’re not going to be that way after they have kids and then they are anyway, and I know it stems from a desire to protect them and make sure they have a good life. But that doesn’t make it any less annoying, and I’m not going to be that way when I have kids :)

Speaking of kids, I saw this cartoon the other day and for some strange reason it hit close to home:

That will be me someday. Actually, I’m convinced that my future is being chronicled on Malcolm in the Middle. Just call me Lois. For now, however, I’m content to live as a childless couple and continue to be selfish with my time and money. I went through a “baby fever” phase just after we got married, but it’s subsided a lot in recent months. I still want to have kids someday, but that someday is a lot farther off now. Besides, a bunch of my friends are having babies so I can just borrow theirs for a few hours when I need to. And I can’t even think about scrapbooking kids until I get the wedding and honeymoon done!

Morrissey has a new song out called Irish Blood, English Heart. If you’ve ever heard Morrissey or The Smiths, you can probably figure out what the song sounds like. But the lyrics are a little too blatantly political - it sounds like he was going for a U2-esque vibe like Sunday Bloody Sunday, but doesn’t quite get there:

Irish blood, English heart
This I’m made of
There is no one on earth I’m afraid of
And no regime can buy or sell me

I’ve been dreaming of a time when
to be English is not to be baneful
to be standing by the flag, not feeling shameful
racist or racial

Irish blood, English heart
this I’m made of
There is no one on earth I’m afraid of
And I will die with both of my hands untied

I’ve been dreaming of a time when
the English are sick to death
of Labour, and Tories
and spit upon the name Oliver Cromwell
and denounce this royal line that still salute him
and will salute him
FOREVER…

I heard it this morning on the best radio station in Columbus, CD101. It’s not the best radio station in the world, but it’s the best one I’ve been able to find. They play some good stuff (Phantom Planet, Yeah Yeah Yeahs) and some bad stuff (Courtney Love, The Darkness), but the good far outweighs the bad. They introduced me to The Postal Service and Guster, they’ll actually play TMBG songs if I call and request them, and as far as I know they’re still locally owned. There had been a rumor going around that they were bought out by Clear Channel, but it was never proven. You can listen to them online so check them out if you’re bored. I like to have it on at work, but it’s usually so quiet in the office that it feels like I’m blaring music even when it’s turned down so low I can barely hear it.

So Woody figured out how to post pictures without my help. He said, in the comments here: “If I promise to not use pictures of Orlando, will you teach me how to post pictures on my blog?” I was going to tell him that I’d only help him out if he promised TO post pictures of Orlando. What’s ironic is that his first post with a picture was going to include Orlando anyway! He’ll be getting to that post soon, but for now here’s my contribution:

Currently Stuck In Head: Fountains of Wayne, Stacy’s Mom

I don’t read books so much as I devour them. I’m not sure why I feel the need to read so fast, but as long as I’m marginally interested in the book I will fly through it. For instance, I read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in less than 36 hours. I also have a problem getting myself to stop reading. Once I pick up a book I don’t want to put it down until the end. I’ve always been this way, for as long as I can remember. When I read Stephen King I always curse myself for not closing the book earlier - I’ll get so wrapped up in the story that when I finally put it down it’s 2am, all the lights are off in the house, and I’m scared to go to bed. And when I was younger I’d read by the light that filtered into my room from the hall after my parents had forced me to turn off my bedroom light.

What’s caught my eye most recently is Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials series. Mark got me the first book, The Golden Compass and it was extremely compelling and emotional. I’m now reading the third one after finishing the second in 2 days, and I’m really anxious to see how it ends. The overall theme of the trilogy is Good vs. Evil. The “good” is God (or rather, an angel who likes to think he’s God) and The Church, and “evil” is science and reason. Not a particularly fresh perspective, but the characters that are woven into the story are absolutely unforgettable. I highly recommend these books to everyone. They’re classified as young adult fantasy, so they’re pretty easy to read but the author doesn’t sound like he’s speaking to kids. They are certainly not lacking in substance, and they’re quite believable despite including such characters as witches, intelligent armored polar bears and elephants with wheels. But for those of you losers who don’t read, it’s rumored that they might be made into movies so you can just wait till then.

Currently Stuck In Head: Guster, Ramona

I’m sure everyone knows that I was pretty excited to see Orlando onscreen again in Troy. I was fortunate enough to get free tickets to a sneak preview last night through the Ohio Union Activity Board at the Arena Grand theatre, so Johnny, Natalie, Stephanie and I went down to wait in line around 7:30 for the 9:00 showing. After surviving the airport-level security to get in, then the Seating Nazis once we were in the theatre, we saw a few previews (The Day After Tomorrow, Spiderman 2 and … something else) then Troy began! And now begins my first movie review blog. I should point out that although Johnny and I talked about the movie last night after we saw it, I haven’t read his review yet so if there is any similarity it’s completely due to the fact that I can read his mind.

I’m not a big mythology buff but I know the basic story of Achilles and his heel, and the Trojan horse, and I’d read about the plot of the movie. I know they changed some things from the original story - Briseis is the king’s niece rather than a slave, the gods don’t physically help/interfere, there are no actual Greek people in the cast - but those changes didn’t really matter to me. What the filmmakers should have changed was who they got to do the music. It was so overbearing and generally horrible that it distracted me from the movie at times! Fortunately the visuals made up for that, especially the Spartan ships. I really can’t get over them, they just looked so cool.

Overall the acting was really good: Eric Bana as Hector easily gave the best performance, but Brian Cox as the smarmy, over-the-top Agamemnon, Sean Bean as understated Odysseus, and Orlando Bloom (of course!) as weak-willed, I’m-a-lover-not-a-fighter Paris all did outstanding jobs too. Brad Pitt as Achilles was amazing when he wasn’t speaking, but he just didn’t nail the accent. Peter O’Toole as Priam looked insane the whole time, with his unnaturally blue eyes as round as saucers. Diane Kruger as Helen just didn’t do it for me, but I think that’s because she was wearing too much eyeliner!

As for the story, the beginning was kind of choppy and rushed, but there was a lot of history and character introductions to cram into 5-10 minutes, and it was pretty well done with narration. The rest of the movie tried to center on Achilles, but kind of wandered off at times to Agamemnon, Hector and Paris who admittedly had large roles in the war, but their subplots were too big to be considered subplots. The fight scenes were incredibly well done, and for an R-rated movie they were very tame in the sense that there’s not a lot of gratuitous blood and guts shown. Unfortunately, during the non-fighting scenes there was dialogue, some of which was sappy and forced and some of which was unintentionally funny. There were some intentionally funny parts - Paris gets some good lines at the beginning with Helen, and Achilles gets some nice burns in, but at times the movie gave off a really campy vibe, and it was hard not to laugh.

Overall, I give the movie a B-. It would have scored higher, probably B+, if not for the music. I recommend seeing it, but maybe bring earplugs? If nothing else, you still get to see half of Brad Pitt’s naked butt, half-naked Eric Bana, and half naked oiled-up Orlando Bloom! Yum.

Currently Stuck In Head: The Postal Service, The District Sleeps Alone Tonight (but really, anything to get the music from Troy out of my head is good)

The following tale is my account of the events that transpired during my lunch hour last Thursday, May 6. Prepare yourself for angst, severe crankiness and speculation on the whereabouts of the brains of government officials. Some backstory: My laptop had been shutting itself off with no warning anytime I did anything related to audio files (playing cds, playing .mp3s, ripping cds, playing .movs, etc) It is covered by a Best Buy extended warranty, so I took it in to the store where they decided they needed to send it out to their hardware repair center. I backed up my files and sent my trusty femputer off on Monday April 26. On Wednesday May 5 someone at the store calls me to let me know my laptop is back in. You can read about what happened after that here.
*******

Around 1pm, I leave work to go to Best Buy. I usually take my lunch at this time but today I’m really hungry already, plus I’m really PMS-y so I’m not in a good mood overall, and the computer crap is just adding to my crankiness. I get to the tech support counter and tell the 16-year-old working there what has happened up to now, and tell him I want him to do the system restore. I’ve got all my claim checks and original receipt and everything with me, but what he asks for is the power cord. Well no, I don’t have that, they’ve never wanted it before and have given it back to me if I brought it. He tells me to hang on a minute while he checks to see if he’s got one, and takes my laptop back into the room with him. I can see him rummaging around in a box so I look around the store and do some people watching. After a few minutes I glance back behind the counter to see if he’s found a cord yet, and he’s got a can of compressed air cleaning out my fan. After a few more minutes he comes back up to the counter and says “Well, I think I know what your problem might have been.” I ask him if the fan was really that dirty and he says yes, when he opened up the case a cloud of dust came out. I can feel an outburst coming on, and try to calmly say “So what you’re saying is that I’ve just reformatted my hard drive for a dirty fan.” He tries to backpedal a bit, says “Well, maybe….but there could still be a software conflict.” Of course it’s too late to turn back now, because even though I didn’t get the whole restore done last night, it had gone far enough that Windows wouldn’t boot up again. I tell the guy to call me when it’s done and storm out. I mean come on, shouldn’t they have checked that shit out when I took it in to them the first time 2 weeks ago?! When I first started having the problem my initial thought was that it was overheating because the fan wasn’t working properly! I even cleaned out the intake and the vent myself! I should have opened up the case and cleaned the inside out too, but I didn’t want to void the warranty and I’ve never poked around inside a laptop so I didn’t want to mess anything up. I *thought* that’s what we paid big bucks to Best Buy to do. Grr, just typing this out pisses me off all over again.

So now hungry, cranky and simmering, but I have to go to the post office. I head over that way and get in line. I notice several signs on the counters informing customers that if their credit or debit card is not signed, the post office can not accept it. On the back of all of my credit cards I write “Please see ID” instead of signing them. The purpose of doing this is so that in the event your credit card gets stolen, the thief won’t be able to use it because they won’t have an ID with my name and their picture on it. This system isn’t foolproof, because 80% of the time the cashier never even looks at the card, let alone the signature line on the back. People are getting better about it though, and it gives me a little more ammo should someone else ever get my card and charge anything to it. Anyway, the point is, I knew the cashier at the post office was going to tell me she couldn’t accept my card, and I was ready for a fight. I wasn’t disappointed. Fortunately I had some cash on me so I could pay for my postage but then I demanded to speak to the Postmaster and I told her how stupid their policy is. For one thing, my credit card company is the one that suggested people start writing “See ID” on the back of their cards. For another thing, my ID is signed. And this is the stupidest, not to mention most hypoctitic, part: if your card is blank on the back, they’ll make you sign it in front of them. What?! That’s just great - now if the person is using a stolen card they’ve just signed it in their own handwriting, witnessed by a government official. Lovely. Anyway, after telling the postmaster all of this, and being told that I “can’t dictate the Post Office’s policies”, I got a phone number to call to register my displeasure. I haven’t called yet though, because my anger dissipated when I got back to the office, ate something, and had a yummy peach milkshake that one of my coworkers went out and got for me. Plus I was despairing at the pointlessness of it, considering I don’t really have a leg to stand on if I tell the post office that I’ll just start using their competitor - they’ve pretty much got the market cornered as far as regular mail goes. Grumble.

Back to the computer. I get a call about an hour after I get back from lunch saying that the system restore is done. After work I rescued it from the hacks at Best Buy and spent all night reinstalling programs and getting my settings back to just the way I like them. Fortunately it looks like I saved everything I needed except for 5 emails, so despite being laptop-less for 2 weeks, things turned out ok. And I’ve been ripping cds like crazy in preparation for possible mp3-player goodness. It goes a lot faster when the computer doesn’t shut down in the middle. And since I’m done being PMS-y I’m willing to put the whole episode to bed, and get on with the Orlando picture.

Currently Stuck In Head: Guster, Airport Song

Yay! I (heart) Guster! Natalie, Johnny and I went and saw them tonight and it was wonderful. We saw them at Promowest Pavilion which is an indoor/outdoor venue. Tonight we were outside, as you can see here:

Our tickets said rain or shine, and we were worried earlier - we got a big thunderstorm around 1:30, the kind where the sky gets really dark all of a sudden and it’s raining so hard you can’t see farther than 20 feet. Fortunately it cleared up as quickly as it began and despite being chilly, our evening was dry. According to the Promowest AND Guster websites, the show started at 7:00, and we all agreed that we didn’t need to rush to see the opening band, so we ate dinner then rolled in around 7:30. The place wasn’t very crowded, and there was no one on stage, so we wondered if maybe there wasn’t an opening act? We staked out a place on the grass and listened to the pre-show music. We weren’t really surprised that most of the crowd was too young to drink; after all the concert was sponsored by the OSU student activities board, but it still made me feel really old. Very un-trendy, too. I mean, I was wearing clothes that covered my WHOLE BODY! I’ll spare you the rant about the clothes kids these days are wearing though, that’s a blog for another day.

Ok, so 8:00 rolls around and we’re expecting Guster anytime now, but instead we get…the crappy opening band! Ugh, two websites had the time of the show wrong! Rather than sit on the cold ground listening to a sub-par band, we went in search of ways to spend our money. We weren’t disappointed! We got alcohol, snacks, and merchandise. I got their first two albums while Natalie went for the kickin’ Guster hooded sweatshirt:

While we were waiting for the merchandise lady to get back with more merchandise, a security-type dude was hanging out in front of the booth, presumably to make sure no one stole anything. He was totally hitting on Natalie, who was first in line, although she didn’t believe it. But trust me, he was.

Once we wasted enough time we went back to the now-crowded lawn and staked out some new spots on the grass. Everyone was sitting down, waiting for the band to come out which made me happy, because Guster’s a pretty mellow band for the most part and I was looking forward to reclining on the lawn and enjoying the show. Unfortunately, as soon as Ryan, Brian, Adam and the new guy came out, most of the crowd stood up. Fortunately, we were next to a sidewalk so we had a pretty clear view of the stage for most of the show. And what a show! Most of the songs they played were from the two most recent albums, Keep It Together and Lost and Gone Forever, but they pulled a few oldies out including Demons, X-Ray Eyes and of course Airport Song. There were also several covers and some great banter as reported in Johnny’s blog and we got to participate in a survey where we decided that a new piece of Guster merchandise would be a pillowcase with the band’s faces on it, so you can sleep with Guster. It was a great night, if a bit chilly, and the only thing that could top it is if Guster came back to Columbus on my anniversary with Ben Folds and Rufus Wainwright. Oh wait - they are, and Natalie and I are going to see them! Johnny will still be on the west coast, so he’ll miss out.

There was a strange group in front of us at the end of the show. One of them was the Muskingum student that recognized Johnny, and there were two other guys and a hot girl. The two other guys and the girl were sitting down, and kept alternately putting their arms around the girl while the student (ok I’m sure they were all students but that’s his name in this anecdote) was restlessly moving around them and taking tons of pictures, sometimes of combinations of the other three, sometimes holding the camera out and pointing it at himself so he could be included in the picture. The way they were acting was so strange that the only explanation I could come up with was that they’re all sleeping together in some sort of weird four-way relationship. I know it probably seems like I’m jumping to a weird conclusion, but if you’d seen them you’d think the same thing.

Time to wrap this blog up with the usual lovely picture of Orlando, but first I’ll mention that yes I did get my computer back and I’ll blog about that fiasco tomorrow, I promise.

Currently Stuck In Head: Guster, Fall In Two

Yesterday just before I left work, Best Buy called to tell me that my computer was back from the service center. Woo hoo! I head over to the store, which is less than 5 minutes from my office. I’m all excited - it’s been gone for a week and a half, and although I’m not thrilled at the fact that I’ll have to reinstall everything, I’m kind of looking forward to it too. It’s kind of like having someone steal your filing cabinet, throw everything in the trash, then giving you a new cabinet to refill. Ok, so it’s almost exactly like that, and most people don’t get excited about it, but I digress. I ask the guy at the Best Buy Tech Support counter if they replaced the hard drive. He looks at the service record and says no, they didn’t do anything. They ran hardware diagnostics and found nothing wrong, so it must be a software issue, and recommended that I do a system restore, which is basically wiping the hard drive and starting over, but this time with the same equipment. I’m kind of puzzled, but whatever - I have my laptop back! I take it and leave, but as I’m driving away I begin to get pissed off. They had to send my computer out of the store for a week and a frickin’ half for them to say fix it yourself?! Well, I’m SO glad we paid for the extended warranty for that! Grr.

I get home and gather up everything I’ll need for my computer surgery: power cord, restore disks, can of pop and book to read while the hard drive formats. Before I do anything though, I check my email. Aaah. Feeling calmer already! I re-archive my email, just to be safe, and put in the restore CD. Reboot. Big warning: if you continue, you will lose all your data. Yeah yeah, I’ve already resigned myself to this fact, remember? Next screen is another, bigger warning saying that if I continue I’ll lose all my data. Get on with it! I press C to continue, and things start happening. Erasing data. Partitioning hard drive. Excellent, I open my book. Then the computer shuts down. I stare at it in disbelief and horror. Isn’t this the problem I originally had it serviced for? Ok, whatever, if it’s a software problem I suppose it could still be there. I turn the machine back on and jump through the same hoops. Things start happening again. Erasing data. Partitioning hard drive. Formatting disk. Ahh, here we go, this is good. I turn back to my book. The disk gets as far as 4% formatted before the computer shuts itself down again. My blood is beginning to boil now. This is the same damn problem I took the stupid computer in for! I leave it off for a while now, and go back to my book. Over the course of the evening, I try the system restore 5 or 6 more times. The farthest I got before the laptop shut down was 25% formatted.

The “Geek Squad” at Best Buy won’t even know what hit them after I’m done with them today.