Everything is Unfinished

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. And, if we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not.

Here is your dose of humor…

A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.
B. Once you have your new name, put it in the comments so we can all see it.
C. Put this on your blog with your new name in the title.

The following is excerpted from a children’s book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names…

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

> a = snickle
> b = doombah
> c = goober
> d = cheesey
> e = crusty
> f = greasy
> g = dumbo
> h = farcus
> i = dorky
> j = doofus
> k = funky
> l = boobie
> m = sleezy
> n = sloopy
> o = fluffy
> p = stinky
> q = slimy
> r = dorfus
> s = snooty
> t = tootsie
> u = dipsy
> v = sneezy
> w = liver
> x = skippy
> y = dinky
> z = zippy

2. Use the 2nd letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

> a = dippin
> b = feather
> c = batty
> d = burger
> e = chicken
> f = barffy
> g = lizard
> h = waffle
> i = farkle
> j = monkey
> k = flippin
> l = fricken
> m = bubble
> n = rhino
> o = potty
> p = hamster
> q = buckle
> r = gizzard
> s = lickin
> t = snickle
> u = chuckle
> v = pickle
> w = hubble
> x = dingle
> y = gorilla
> z = girdle

3. Use the 3rd letter of your last name to determine the 2nd half of your new last name:

> a = butt
> b = boob
> c = face
> d = nose
> e = hump
> f = breath
> g = pants
> h = shorts
> i = lips
> j = honker
> k = head
> l = tush
> m = chunks
> n = dunkin
> o = brains
> p = biscuits
> q = toes
> r = doodle
> s = fanny
> t = sniffer
> u = sprinkles
> v = frack
> w = squirt
> x = humperdinck
> y = hiney
> z = juice

That’s good enough for me! Check out my new toy:

As if the Build-a-Bear store wasn’t already irresistible enough, about 10 days ago my Mom and I saw that they had Cookie Monster available! If you’ve never seen a Build-a-Bear Workshop, the concept is just how it sounds: you pick a bear or other animal “form”, then stuff it with however much or little fluff you want. You can put a sound chip in it, then after it’s all stitched up you can pick out clothes and get a birth certificate. My Cookie is a medium firmness, not too floppy, and he has the Cookie Monster sound chip which says 4 things. As you can see, I decided against the clothing, although I did get the stuffed cookie for him. I couldn’t deprive him of sustenance!

You may be wondering why Cookie Monster caught my eye in a way that none of the other animals at Build-a-Bear have before. Well, for my first Christmas, I got a stuffed Cookie Monster that I found out my parents still have. He was always my favorite Sesame Street character (well, actually he’s a very close second after Grover) so he holds a special place in my heart. And I figured that no child of mine should be deprived of a Cookie Monster, and that was enough justification for me and Johnny!

Not that I think legalizing it is any closer to actually happening, but Bryan pointed me in the direction of some interesting findings:

Marijuana May Grow Neurons