I haven’t seen a movie in the theaters in almost a year. But that one shot of Jessica Biel in a Catwoman outfit practically has me in line ready to buy tickets.

“Scream if this hurts, chica!”

Woody Countdown, originally uploaded by Woodmania.

Busy day so you get this photoshopped treat. I was just having some fun (original image here) with the promotional pieces for DC Comic’s big upcoming weekly event. If you don’t like it, sorry about that. Crunchtime at work so here’s what you get. Have a great weekend! Mine will be great when it’s over… hopefully.

“It’s OK, kid. Spelly The Bee says, not everyone can win. Someone has got to lose, and that someone just happens to be you.”

Poor Goofy
Originally uploaded by Woodmania.

The last time we talked about Goofy, some shocking revelations shocked you to your shocking core. Goofy is actually a widower. Amazing, but true. This surprised even those of you who are self-proclaimed Disney nuts. This information moved Maderer so much that when we saw him at Disneyworld, he proclaimed “Sorry about your wife!” Goofy continued to walk on. Apparently, it’s still too soon to talk about.

And if you thought that the idea of Goofy being a single father is disturbing, check out…

The Death of Goofy!

Sock Points to those who properly eulogize this great American hero.

eatMore
Originally uploaded by Woodmania.

Since Rinnert’s not busy recently, he’s been busy on his website. As usual, there’s lots of good photography. But he’s working on a new mission now. He’s talking about the music scene in his new home area, Raleigh, NC. So, be sure to head over there to see the pretty pictures, learn about a music scene, and see him jumping around like an idiot. No, literally. Go look for yourself.

By the way, that picture was taken at his bachelor party. Say no more.

“Who put you in charge?”
“God did, when he killed my wife.”

Marvelous Team-Up!, originally uploaded by Woodmania.

Just wanted to share some of my handywork with you. The picture is a couple years old. The photoshop work that attempts to make the piece resemble an old school MTU cover was done just last month. Still, the techniques made then are so much cruder than I would do now. Photoshop takes a long, long time to get any kind of grasp of. I learned so much in the last month, yet I still know so little. I would have done things differently now, but I think the results would have been the same.

Despite this, I will still proudly show this remnant of the time me and Spidey teamed up to drive around in the SCOOP at Universal Studios Island of Adventure in sunny Orlando.

“Call Debra.”
“The caterer?”
“Tell her not to open the caviar.”

My Steinbach Jersey
Originally uploaded by Woodmania.

Free agency is a part of life. You can’t keep all your players. I accept that. But what I have a hard time accepting is when a player leaves my team to go to a rival’s. Especially when I have his jersey.

You may not have noticed this in the flurry of NFL activity, but former Bengal Eric Steinbach is now a Brown. Yes, a Cleveland Brown. I guess I can’t really blame him since they backed up a dump truck full of cash to his house.

But I’m not really concerned about him. Where does this deal leave me? As you can see, I am the owner of a Bengals jersey sporting his name. It was a great gift at the time and I have worn it with pride.

So what do I do with this jersey now? Surely, I can’t ever wear it again, right? My gut reaction is to burn it. Extreme, I know. But, in my mind, Stiny essentially burned all his bridges by going to a divisional rival. If he went to Arizona or some other team we wouldn’t play much, there would be no harm. But Cleveland?! He’s dead to me now. And the last thing I need are reminders of him stinking up my closet.

Suggestions will be appreciated and rewarded with a Sock Point.

Chad Jennings
Originally uploaded by sfopanda.

Just spotted this as I was searching for Chad Johnson leading the World’s Largest Chicken Dance. Yes, that was the Bengals All-Pro receiver leading thousands of people in downtown Cincinnati in an awkward gyration usually reserved for weddings. Anyway, back to this actual picture. Chad Jennings? Can’t believe this guy got the name wrong. After I left a comment on the picture, neither could the photographer. The proper name is now in place. No need to panic. Once again, I have made Flickr a safer place for Bengals fans. You’re welcome.

“It’s okay to be afraid. Fear is just your feelings asking for a hug.”

Anyone who’s ever dealt with a cat should not be surprised at the outcome of this live shot.

“They’ve got guns.”
“And I haven’t. Which makes me the better person, don’t you think? They can shoot me dead, but the moral high-ground is mine.”

Poker
Originally uploaded by Woodmania.

As I’m going through the new digs, I’m noticing a lot of unfinished blogs I started. Let’s shake them up and get them out to you, the people.

I think I have spent a fair amount of time on this site badmouthing poker. But it’s not the game I hate, it’s how it’s taken over TV timeslots that surely could be used for something else. I have since softened my stance and have pretty much given up on trying to convince the world that watching people play cards should not be considered entertainment.

Playing cards, however, is good entertainment. I haven’t done a lot of poker playing myself, but next time I do, I’m taking Eric’s Texas Hold’Em tips. Also, I learned a lot the one time I played. The major thing was not blowing money early. Better to stay on and be involved in more games than gamble too big too early.

There’s some advice for you from a guy who’s never won a single cent from playing poker. Enjoy!

“Words are like bullets, and I just let them pass right through me.”

Old Timey Phone
Originally uploaded by Woodmania.

What is the deal with digital phone? Why is everybody in the world concerned with getting me a home phone? Vonage is hitting the airwaves pretty hard with commercial telling me to get one or they’ll throw an orange box at my head. Now my cable company is using their airwaves to convince me to get a phone through them. Constantly! They show ads literally every single commercial break. And I mean “literally” literally, not figuaratively. Is there really that much money to made in this endeavor? And they offer outstanding deals where you can get cheap internet or free premium channels if you sign up. It would probably make my bill smaller if I actually added the damn thing. Those Time Warner bastards even call me during dinner to see if I’m interested. I have a cell phone. That’s all I need. Why would I add a phone that I can only use in the confines of my apartment? Emergency calls can’t easily be routed to a nearby call center. They don’t work during power outages like conventional phones. Oh, yeah. There’s some selling points.

To those annoying deuschebags at Time Warner: Not interested. I’ve got a phone. Quit calling me on it.

“How’d the hell did you know that?”
“Well, maybe because I’m the Son of God, Braniac.”